


Lettuce Quiche

by ZabbieQ



Category: Tokyo Mew Mew
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28906983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZabbieQ/pseuds/ZabbieQ
Summary: Lettuce and Quiche talk for a while.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	Lettuce Quiche

Lettuce did not quite know what to expect as she approached the castle-like Cafe Mew Mew on Saturday, but she couldn't say she was surprised to see a blonde ball of energy bouncing around the lawn with a broom, sweeping up leaves at a furious speed, smirking competitively at the brown-haired boy with large, elvish ears.

"Pudding is gonna win! Pudding is gonna win!" she chanted, hastily sweeping leaves into her trash bag. She already dressed in her uniform, an orange maid dress with a frilly white apron, a white headpiece with an orange design, and a skirt short enough to let her dash easily across the grass.

"No fair! Those leaves are on _my_ side!" Tart hollered at her, practically attacking the lawn with his broom in an effort to catch up with the professional acrobat. Despite the chill in the air, Tart wore shorts and a loosely closed vest, not even a proper shirt. Lettuce pulled her sweater closed, shivering just to look at Tart.

Lettuce smiled bemusedly as the kids raced around, caring to the lawn. The aliens had returned to Earth, peacefully this time, no longer servants of Deep Blue. Quiche, Tart and Pie had brought with them some elders from their society who wished to negotiate for land to start settlements in peace. Since Shirogane had inherited some property from his late parents, he was willing to let them use it, provided they followed his terms (with "Do not harm humans" being right at the top). Lettuce wasn't an expert on economics, but she wondered how much land Shirogane owned if he could confidently discuss hosting colonies for aliens.

_Or, on the other hand, how few aliens are there?_

Lettuce bit her lip, giving Tart a compassionate look as the noisy boy tried to keep up with his friend. She had only seen him once since he returned to Earth, but she knew now that his mother had given birth to his baby sister while he had been serving Deep Blue. Tart pretended to be too cool to care about how cute babies were, but he had looked pleased when the Mew Mews, especially Pudding, had gushed over the hologram he had shown them. Lettuce had seen how his large ears had drooped, and how his eyes had narrowed with concern, when he, Pie and Quiche had told them how the tiny bit of Mu Aqua they had taken home had helped their planet some, but three-fourths remained a hostile wasteland.

While some aliens wanted to remain and see their world become healthy, some wanted a fresh start. Lettuce wished that Deep Blue had not deceived them with false promises; if only they had come diplomatically the first time, so much heartache could have been avoided.

A squeal snapped Lettuce out of her disquiet musings, and she blinked as Pudding bounded up to her, holding out her trash bag.

"Lettuce-oneechan! Look! Look! The winner gets a special dessert that Akasaka-oniichan made today. Didn't Pudding get the most?"

"Nuh-uh!" cried Tart, zipping beside the girls. "I got more!"

He pulled open his bag, holding it up beside Pudding's. He looked at Lettuce as if seeking confirmation. Lettuce adjusted her glasses with a sheepish smile, not one for altercations.

"Actually, um, I think you have a tie," she said quietly, glancing between the seemingly even collections.

"A tie!" protested Tart, shaking his bag. "That's only because Pudding took the leaves on _my_ side!"

"Pudding fought fair!" the blonde girl insisted, but her look of righteous indignation changed to a warm smile. "But a tie is good! Now Pudding can share with Taru Taru. Yummy food tastes even yummier when Pudding gets to share with her friends. Pudding wants to share a dessert with Taru Taru!"

Tart blinked at her, his annoyance disappearing, before he folded his arms, shaking his head with a smirk. "You're really weird sometimes, you know that?"

Lettuce excused herself, maneuvering around the kids as Pudding tried to explain her philosophy to Tart. She slipped in through the front door. Fortunately, the heater was on, and Lettuce felt herself relax as its warmth covered her. She started to cross the empty dining room to enter the staff area, but she jumped a little when she saw someone already stood in the hallway.

Like Tart, he had large tapered ears, and he also didn't seem to care about the weather, wearing a green short-sleeve shirt beneath a brown tank top, both of which exposed his midriff, and shorts. He had dark green hair, and he let two strands grow out in front of his ears.

He turned his head as Lettuce approached, his young face expectant, hopeful, but the light promptly dimmed when he caught sight of her.

"Oh. It's you," he said flatly and leaned against the wall.

Lettuce cleared her throat. "Ah, hello, Quiche-san," she said respectfully. "How are you?"

Quiche folded his arms, shrugging. "Bored. Pie and the elders just go on and on and on, back and forth with that Shirogane guy. I had to split before I fell asleep."

"Oh. I see." Lettuce fidgeted with her sweater, trying to think of something else to say. However, she caught a glimpse of the clock in the kitchen and cleared her throat again. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to get changed. We're shorthanded today."

"Shorthanded?" he repeated as Lettuce stepped around him. "Who's not coming in?"

"Well," Lettuce said, slowing her walk, "Zakuro-san will be a little late today because she has to meet with her agent."

Quiche smiled, looking a little relieved. She felt bad about dashing his hopes — even though he _shouldn't_ hope — but she had to tell the truth.

"And Ichigo-san has the day off."

Quiche seemed to deflate. "Is she on a date?"

Lettuce grimaced, taking a few more steps. "Akasaka-san felt she should have the day off."

Akasaka had probably made a present of the free time so Ichigo could avoid a confrontation with Quiche, who might have taken the chance to pitch his suit to her once again. Lettuce was sure Ichigo had taken the opportunity to see Aoyama, but while she believed Quiche should move on, she couldn't help feeling a little sorry for him as he slumped against the wall.

In the locker room, she changed into her own maid outfit, similar to Pudding's except her dress was green, and her white headpiece had green accents. Stowing her dress, sweater and normal shoes in her locker, she headed to the dining room to start taking the upside-down chairs off the cafe tables. To her surprise, Quiche had already sat down in one chair, his chin on his hands, his amber staring dully ahead.

Her heart twisted for him, but she did not know just what to say. Although they weren't enemies anymore, she couldn't exactly call him a friend just yet, knowing very little about him. And he was also, well, a boy. It had taken her months to get comfortable around Shirogane and Akasaka enough to speak her mind.

Blushing with discomfort, Lettuce busied herself with preparing the dining room for the Saturday lunch rush. She tried to move as quietly as possible, but she reflected she could have probably played a trombone, and Quiche would still be worlds away.

Once all the chairs were arranged, and the tables prepared, Lettuce casted a pitying glance at Quiche. If only there was something she could do to help him keep his mind off the unattainable Ichigo; when she had seen how much Edomurasaki, her former crush, had loved the librarian, Lettuce had respectfully let go of her love for him. But Quiche knew perfectly well that Ichigo loved Aoyama, even when it turned out he was a piece of Deep Blue, but the alien boy still held a torch.

 _What can I even do?_ she thought, pressing her lips together. If her mother had to comfort someone, she would try to listen. If the suffering person wasn't open to talking, she might make them some tea and get them to feel relaxed enough that they could share their thoughts.

Nodding to herself, she stepped over to Quiche and cleared her throat. Quiche blinked, and his eyes slowly rolled up to look at her, glazed off.

Folding her hands, she gave him a small bow. "Quiche-san, what can I get for you today?"

"What?" He raised his head, the long strands of hair hanging by his ears bouncing a little.

"Well, this _is_ a cafe," she reminded him politely. "We have teas and pastries. I thought maybe I could get you something while you wait."

His mind seemed to finish its return to reality, and he leaned back in his chair. "Pastries, huh?"

Lettuce nodded, smiling. "I don't know if Akasaka-san has prepared today's menu, but we usually have leftovers that the staff gets to snack on. I don't mind giving you a little of my share."

Quiche raised an eyebrow. "You'll give me _your_ share? Why?"

"Because… Because it's what you do when you have company over." She almost said "Because that's what friends do," but it didn't fit what she felt toward Quiche right then, even though she was willing to befriend him.

Quiche looked towards the kitchen. "What does Ichigo usually get?"

Lettuce rolled her shoulders uncomfortably.

"Cake, but between her and Pudding-san, they might have taken what we had yesterday." In Pudding's case, though she liked sweets, she sometimes took leftovers home to share with her younger siblings.

Quiche looked away. "Then just bring me what you got. Some tea too."

Lettuce retreated to the kitchen, feeling awkward. She scanned the refrigerator and found the leftovers of a new recipe which Akasaka was trying out: personal-sized lettuce quiche, for patrons who wanted something less sweet. Lettuce smiled at the coincidence and gingerly took one, taking it to the microwave. While it was heating, she picked a tea for Quiche, wishing she had stopped to ask which one he wanted. She hoped he liked Earl Gray.

Once she had prepared a tea tray, she took it out to the alien boy, who fortunately didn't seem so distracted now. He had his hands linked behind his head, one leg crossed, and he sat up as Lettuce approached, his nose twitching.

"That smells good." His once dull eyes looked a little clearer.

"I brought milk and sugar for your tea," she said, motioning toward the dainty teaware. "I didn't know how you took it."

Quiche grunted his thanks, sniffing the tea and milk experimentally. Lettuce bowed as if he were a customer and started to leave, but Quiche looked up as he plunked sugar cubes into his cup.

"Leaving already?"

Lettuce nodded toward the kitchen. "There are things I have to clean before we open in a few hours."

Quiche tilted his head. "You weren't going to leave me to eat by myself, were you?"

"Well, uh— that is —"

"Okay," said Quiche, linking his hands behind his head. "If that's how you humans treat company…"

Lettuce blushed slightly. She really didn't want to neglect her duties, but she didn't want to be rude. She was a lot bolder since joining the Mew Mew, but she was still sensitive to others' feelings. Quiche looked like he needed some company, especially since his crush was probably off having fun with another guy. Lettuce knew the help from her friends had helped her get over Edomurasaki, and Quiche's friends were busy at the moment.

"Well, maybe for a few minutes," Lettuce conceded with a smile, pulling out a chair.

"So," Quiche said, beginning to cut his food, "your parents named you after a vegetable?"

 _So, your parents named you after a centuries-old Earth dish?_ she wanted to return, but that would be rude, and he might get offended. Smiling, she said, "Actually, I was named after one of my grandmothers."

"Cool." He took a bite, chewing thoughtfully. "Not bad."

"Akasaka-san is a marvelous cook," said Lettuce. "What about you?"

"Nah, I can't dehydrate our space rations without burning something, and all I'm supposed to do is add water."

"That sounds impossible," Lettuce said, then shook her head. "Actually, I meant, why did your parents name you Quiche?"

"A lot of parents liked to give their kids Earth names, hoping their children would someday see the planet for themselves."

"But how could you possibly know about quiche?"

"Oh that?" He gestured with his knife. "A few centuries ago, some band of scientists decided to send a spaceship back to Earth. I suppose this must have been before you humans started polluting everything. From how I understand, they went to different civilizations, recording the cultures. They came back with all this information, but before my people could start sending more ships to Earth, the Great Storm of Suffering hit, and that ruined our technology, setting us back a few centuries."

"The Great Storm of Suffering?" Lettuce heard herself whisper. The name itself evoked so many images which troubled her heart.

"My people almost went extinct during that time," said Quiche, before he stabbed his fork into the piece he had cut. "But the scientists brought all these Earth recipes that our ancestors tried to copy using ingredients available on our planet. And it became a thing to name kids after the dishes."

"That's fascinating," said Lettuce truthfully.

"I like this version of a quiche though," he said, holding up another piece with his fork. "It's kinda like how my mom made quiche back when we could afford the ingredients, but it's a better taste. Made with eggs?"

"I think so. Chicken eggs. And also some lettuce and cheese, I think."

Quiche looked at her. "Made with Lettuce? I'm not gonna find your hair in this, am I?"

"No, no, no!" Lettuce waved her hands. "The vegetable, Quiche-san!"

He snickered, swatting her knee. "I'm just messing with you, kiddo."

"Oh." She paused, then smiled sheepishly. "Ha."

Quiche shoveled in more bites between sips of tea, easily finishing half of the dish, and Lettuce was pleased to see him savoring it. She wondered what sorts of things he had to eat growing up. Not much, from what she heard. And he mentioned something about his mother making quiche only when they had been able to afford it. Had they fallen on hard times (or _harder_ times)? Had Quiche become a warrior for Deep Blue to feed his family in addition to trying to steal Earth for their whole race?

"Your mother must have been very worried about you when you left for Earth the first time," Lettuce noted.

"Well, what mom doesn't?" He shrugged a little, but he seemed embarrassed to acknowledge it.

Lettuce nodded warmly. "That's something we have in common then. If I left for another planet, my parents would be concerned. Loving families must be universal."

"Yeah," he said, looking at the last quarter of his quiche. "But my family was proud to send me, you know. It… _was_ a great honor."

"I can imagine," Lettuce said kindly.

He glanced at her thoughtfully, then suddenly asked, "So what are you exactly?"

"Beg pardon?"

Quiche gestured carelessly with his fork. "You know, Ichigo is some kind of cat girl. Mew Mint is a bird. The angry one is a wolf. What are you?"

"Oh. A finless porpoise."

"A what-what?"

"A finless porpoise," Lettuce repeated. "Do you know what a dolphin is?"

"Those creatures that perform tricks in aquariums?"

"Um, yes," said Lettuce, getting an image of Quiche watching a dolphin show, cheering like a little kid. "A finless porpoise is a cousin of the dolphin."

"Ah." He leaned forward, curious. "Can you jump through a hoop and stuff?"

"What! No, no." Lettuce laughed with embarrassment. "The finless porpoise doesn't frolic like dolphins. I think it has something to do with not having a dorsal fin. They're also shyer."

"Color me shocked," Quiche said, giving her a sweeping glance.

"But they're very fascinating creatures," Lettuce went on, remembering the library book she had read the previous year. "They prefer to stay close to the shore, and the pods living around Japan are isolated from pods living along the mainland. They can eat things like plants and eggs in addition to fish and octopus. The Chinese name for them means 'river piglet,' and—"

Quiche burst out into guffaws, his sharp teeth glistening in the light. He collapsed against his chair, slapping his bare stomach.

"That's the funniest thing I've heard all day!" he cried. His laughter echoed across the dining room.

Lettuce flushed, not sure if he was making fun of her. "I guess it's a little funny."

As he calmed down, he gave her a big smile. "If you're a piglet, shouldn't you watch out for Mew Zakuro?"

"Zakuro-san?" Lettuce quirked a brow. "What do you mean?"

"Tart told me a human story he heard from Mew Pudding. Doesn't a big wolf huff and puffs down some piglets' houses in your mythology?"

"Oh!" Lettuce smiled at his joke. "No, I don't think the Big Bad Wolf likes seafood in the fairytale, so I'm safe. Besides, Zakuro-san is a loyal friend."

"She can get awfully scary," he said mischievously. Lettuce wondered if he was thinking about the time Zakuro stopped him from teleporting away just to punch him, but he didn't seem malicious. He sounded like a normal teenage boy making a crack about a kid he kinda knew but didn't hate.

The front door burst open, and Lettuce whirled around to see Pudding riding on Tart's shoulders, both trash bags in her hands.

"Mush, Taru Taru! For the snacks!"

"The victors get the prizes of war!" Tart cried dramatically, carrying his friend into the kitchen as if he were a horse bearing his knight into a castle after a successful battle.

A loud clang followed, causing Lettuce to wince, and she could hear the two pairs of little feet racing around as their owners opened the fridge, the cabinets and drawers.

"As if those two need any more sugar," remarked Quiche.

Lettuce giggled, covering her mouth.

Quiche chuckled. "You know, you're not the stick in the mud I took you for. You're actually kinda fun."

"Uh, thanks?" returned Lettuce, wondering if she should take it as a compliment or an insult. Since Quiche seemed to mean it as the former, she cast her mind around for something nice to say about him. "And you're, uh, you're pretty interesting, Quiche-san."

"Well, I'm not _just_ roguishly handsome," he bragged, running a hand over his green hair. "I have charisma from here to the stars, kiddo."

"You're certainly exuberant," Lettuce said.

"You think so?" Quiche rested his chin on his hands. "Don't forget smart, cunning, clever, quick witted, intelligent..."

"Those are all synonyms," Lettuce pointed out blankly.

He smirked. "But did I lie?"

She shook her head. Normally, she was put off by arrogance, but she got the feeling Quiche was just fooling around. Almost like they were… well, almost like they were finally friends. And Lettuce didn't mind that.

 _He's yet another colorful personality in my life_ , Lettuce thought, feeling her smile widened.

Footsteps arose behind them, and Quiche quickly stood at attention. Lettuce rose as well, and soon Akasaka and Shirogane led the alien elders and Pie, Quiche and Tart's older friend, into the dining room. The elders had long strands of white or graying hair, wrapped or braided around their ears. Unlike Pie, Quiche and Tart, they wore long-sleeved robes more appropriate for the weather. Lettuce bowed respectfully to them.

Shirogane rose his blonde eyebrows, glancing between Lettuce and Quiche, while Pie's face seemed to harden, though Lettuce couldn't guess why. Akasaka smiled at both of the teenagers before he addressed the elders.

"If you would be seated," he said genteelly, "we shall serve the refreshments."

"I should help," Lettuce told Quiche as the elders headed for their seats.

He nodded, giving her a thumbs up. "Sure, kiddo. We should do this again sometime."

Lettuce found a smile crossing her face. "I would like that."

Quiche gave her an amiable wink and let her clear his place. As Lettuce carried the dirty dishes to the kitchen, she noticed Pie had yet to sit down, and he seemed to be glaring at Quiche.

* * *

"I think it went well, don't you?" Akasaka commented to Shirogane as Lettuce came back from serving the last of the aliens.

"I'm just glad they were amenable," said Shirogane with a shrug, but Lettuce thought she saw him smile.

"And I'm glad _you_ were willing to negotiate," Akasaka smiled, teasing his younger friend.

"What arrangements did you come to, Shirogane-san?" Lettuce asked politely.

Shirogane turned to her, and his smile became a little more pronounced. "My mother's family had invested in a number of real-estate opportunities in Japan and abroad. Different climates and weather conditions. The aliens will be able to choose which tracts to build their colonies on, and in exchange they share a small percentage of their produce. And they have to abide by international laws. They can't harm humans just because of an old grudge."

"I see." Lettuce nodded, wincing a little.

"But they are willing to adapt," Akasaka assured her. "The negotiations have been a lengthy process, but I think we're close to a happy ending."

"And perhaps the aliens will be a great help should the Mew Mew need help against an enemy," Lettuce suggested.

"Maybe," agreed Akasaka before gesturing toward the trash can. "Oh, would you take that out before we open for business?"

Lettuce obediently obliged, and she smiled as she headed to the back door, warmed to her heart. Any land Shirogane owned had to be beautiful. Maybe his family had bought several tracts of beachfront property. She giggled a little to imagine Quiche, Pie and Tart in swim trunks, surfing or building sandcastles; Quiche and Tart would do everything with youthful exuberance, while Pie would wear his understated expressions, not wanting his younger companions to know just how much he was enjoying himself.

Outside in the cold sir, she crossed quickly to the metal can and gently placed the trash inside, doing her best not to let her uniform touch it. Just as she replaced the lid, she heard cold male voices around the curve of the building. Two of the aliens seemed to have been arguing. Not wanting to be caught eavesdropping, Lettuce started to tiptoe to the door, but she heard Quiche's name, and she stopped.

"Quiche, we have a good thing going on here," said a deep voice that she recognized as Pie's. "Are you really going to ruin our people's chances over your childish behavior?"

"What did I even do?" Quiche demanded.

Curious, she crept a little closer before she realized she was doing something incredibly rude and incredibly awkward if she got caught. Near the side of the building, facing each other on the leafless lawn, stood Pie and Quiche. Pie had his arms folded, a cold fury creeping through his usual stoic mask. Quiche held his arms akimbo, looking annoyed and defiant.

"You can't make this one into your new 'toy.' That could convince Shirogane-san not to help us."

"I wasn't even thinking about that," Quiche retorted, rolling his eyes. "She's not my type."

Pie narrowed his eyes. "See to it that you do not entertain the thought then, because I am more than capable of taking you back to your mother and telling her how you treat females."

"Hey!" Quiche bolted upright, clenching his fists. "Not cool, man! Not cool."

"Then mind your behavior," Pie ordered before spinning away, heading back toward the front door.

Quiche muttered something Lettuce didn't catch (but, looking at his face, Lettuce thought it was a good thing she hadn't), before he teleported away, the air rippling around him like water.

She wondered who they were talking about. Quiche had been so singularly focused on Ichigo, Lettuce couldn't imagine another person taking her place; according to Quiche, this girl hadn't, so Pie really had nothing to worry about.

Lettuce shrugged. It wasn't any of her business though, and there was no point in speculating. She went back inside, just in time to find Pudding and Tart hovering around Akasaka, waiting to claim the moist sponge cake he was preparing for them as their prize. As she watched the two kids laugh together, Lettuce smiled to herself, thinking it was rather nice to have the aliens as their allies now, maybe even as friends.

THE END

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Imagine Ichigo turning around to see an alien woman dragging Quiche by the ear over to her to make him apologize.
> 
> River piglet — Interestingly enough, dolphins have also been historically referred to as "mereswine," meaning "sea pig."
> 
> I hope you liked it. This is my first TMM fanfic. I might do more fics based on unusual team ups (platonic Pomegranate Pie and stuff).


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